A Guaranteeed Miracle Cure for Nearly Anything That Ails You

If there were a magic pill that could make you feel as happy as the strongest antidepressant on the market, would you take it?  Not only will it make you feel euphoric, it’ll boost your problem solving skills by 40%. This medicine improves concentration and attention span.  It stimulates the brain to the same “Zen” state that scientists have discovered in meditating monks.  Heck, it even helps you sleep better.

This product is also good for the environment.  It cuts greenhouse gases, makes our roads safer, reduces our dependency on oil, and cuts your auto expenses by at least a couple thousand bucks a year.

It adds new dimensions to your life.  You will become more in tune with the changing seasons.  Connect with natural wonders like rain, wind, heat, and cold like you haven’t since your childhood.  Your senses will come alive.  I promise you will pass down roads you’ve driven 1,000 times before and discover new scenery and nuances you never noticed.

Using this product will improve your social life, too.  By joining the ranks of others who take this medicine, you’ll meet energetic, outgoing people.  At social and business events, you’ll have much more to talk about than the weather or reality TV.  And speaking of talking, I have seen people under the influence of this drug articulate a complicated thought with such clarity it’s as if they’re reading a well rehearsed script.

If you’re a parent, it’s a medicine you can safely administer in large doses to your kids.  By doing so, they will enjoy the same benefits as you.  Take your medicine together and your kids might (key word, might) see you as less of an alien being with zero in common.  I’ve read of kids diagnosed with ADHD who’ve been completely cured of their affliction by replacing the doctor’s prescribed medicine with this one.

This product strengthens your body from head to toe.  The longer you’re on it, the stronger your legs and the firmer your butt.  And while some medications have adverse side effects on your joints, this medicine puts zero stress on your joints and actually strengthens the muscles that surround them.
There are two serious side effects, however: weight loss and fitness gains.
Sounds expensive, doesn’t it?  Fear not, it’s free.  Pump up the tires, hop on, and let your adventure begin.

 

P.S.:
Soon after writing this blog, my good friend Jeff Rauff was hit by a car while riding his bike.  He was life flighted to the hospital with severe injuries and spent several days in intensive care.  The bad news is Jeff was hit by a car.  The good news is he’s a 61 year old stud who’s been a competitive triathlete for at least 35 years.  He’s an incredibly positive guy who easily wins friends and influences people.  His fitness and his attitude have prepared him well for the battle he now faces.  Please keep Jeff in your prayers as he continues his miraculous recovery, and be alert for cyclists on the road.

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